The cover is your home

 
***Sadaf sat in the café all day. She drank four cups of coffee then went outside to smoke. She had always hated the smell of smoking, but she was trying all the things she had never tried. It was cold, but she was shivering more because of the fire inside her. Her hair was touching her cheeks. 

She waited next to a streetlamp in her velvet hat and red scarf, thinking about her actions that day. She hadn’t covered her head, but she had hidden herself from the outside. Actually, the only change in her clothes was not covering her head, but she felt naked and she had never thought she would feel that way. She felt like she was without a roof. 

She laughed at herself as she wasn’t even able to smoke. She put out the cigarette and walked toward the train station. On the way she saw homeless people and realized she too was homeless without her cover. Her hat wasn’t enough to hold her mind in its place. That morning while checking herself in the mirror she had seemed very pretty with her makeup and dark wavy hair, but now that beautiful hair had become arrows, hurting her mind. She felt the same pain as she had when she’d pulled her wisdom teeth out.
The view looked like one of the small paintings in the corner of a big art gallery. A girl was standing in the train station with a black hat and red scarf. It was a painting of loneliness which drew the attention of no one. Sadaf wondered whether there would be anyone besides her in the next station or whether she would stay lonely all her life.

She took off her hat, wanting to feel the wind, but the wind was strong and made her hair whip her face. Things didn’t feel the way she’d hoped. She wanted to know when the feeling of homelessness would go away.  

 

“The cover is your home, and it shows your beauty,” Sadaf realized at the end of the day. All day she’d felt as if everything, even inanimate objects, was watching her. She had never looked at herself in this way and she was uncomfortable with the feeling. Everybody had become a mirror for her, and it was a painful experience.

Sadaf already knew how she would become happy again. She took her veil and apologized, saying: “This is the period that completes a woman’s beauty sentence. If there is no period, you can’t stop.”

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