My loneliness 

  Hi Yasmin 

These days I am in too deep, please give me a hand. Now what I will tell you may make you say “You’re crazy!” I give you the right to say it. I want somebody to stop me. I want a limit to my freedom in this city with limitless freedom. I’m afraid, maybe because I can do anything I think of and nothing will stop me. There must be something that’s wrong someplace, I’m bordering on limitlessness. It could find me any moment.

I kept getting lost. It was ridiculous, completely ridiculous. I should have stopped and looked at the street, then I wouldn’t have got lost. Then I would have been able to value my loneliness. “I walked all night and slept all day,” I would say when they found me. They would shake me off and all the things on me would settle onto them. I would destroy the city then beg to be forgiven. I would give my reasons: there was no one around to stop me, and I couldn’t stop myself. Don’t ask me why.

I’ve lost my name, Yasemin. I don’t know myself anymore. I went beyond the ordinary. This city tells me, “You can do whatever you wish.” This makes me unhappy. I just stand there and get stuck.

Remind me who I am, and more importantly who I was.

With love,

Anonymous.

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